So Elliott family updates. Elyse is 3 months old and beautiful. She has found her voices and uses it a lot! She has the best smile in the world, too. She's got these sweet little sunrise eyes. I just adore her. She's such a bubbley sweet baby. Sleeps well and nurses well. She's such an easy mellow baby, much like Caeden was and still is. I love my princess.

Caeden is getting so big. I can't believe he will be 2 in just a few short months. Time is an odd thing. I remember the last 21 month so vividly, like it was just yesterday but I still feel each passing moment to know they truly were lived out. Sometimes I look at Ellie and think "How did you get here?" haha. Because I remember those first moments with Caeden so well that I sometimes can't fathom that enough time past that I have TWO! But I remember all the moments of Ellie so well too. I am just in love with my beautiful, sweet, perfect babes.

Caeden keeps us laughing. He is really smart and talks quite a lot. He's signing a lot, which is fun to see. The other week Chris told him to sit on his butt. Caeden clung to this word, even though we usually say bum or bottom. Since we don't say butt he keeps trying to figure out what a butt is, with no real response from us. Even when he pointed at a butt and asked if it was a butt we responded with "bum". He's asked if my arm was a butt, my elbow, Ellies head, Chris' foot. Pretty much anything you can think of. He finally decided a belly button is indeed a belly BUTT. So we now have an obsession with belly butts and finding everyone's belly butt. Caeden has this funny habit too. Shortly after he weaned himself he started rubbing his belly button when he drinks a bottle. He still does it. If you give him a cup of water or anything wait 2 seconds and he's got his shirt up and his hand pinching his belly button. It's cute... for now. ;) so long as he stops before he's 10 we're good.

He's still a great big brother. He's continued to be gentle with Elyse. He has his jealous moments and we are just coming down from the first real time they were BOTH sick. Ellie got a cold and Caeden had some issue between teething and some sinus issues he wasn't feeling well at all this week. They both needed and wanted me and we learned to juggle. so, I feel accomplished after surviving it with everyone and everything intact!

Elyse has her followup appointment about her head tomorrow morning. I am confident it's fine, hoping for a good report. Not looking forward to driving downtown tomorrow bright and early with a snow advisory!

Cleaned the entire house today. first time in a while. literally everything, showers, sheets, dusted pictures. It feels nice. Last load of laundry is about to hit the drier and the tomorrow should be mostly relaxing.

I started a new "diet" of sorts a few weeks ago. More I read a book about what our bodies truly need and why eating grains and carbs and processed food is really bad. I knew it was crap and should not be a main food item but I didn't really understand it in a deeper way. also, ltos of info on meat and such. like exactly why grain-fed beef s so bad. what too much omega 6 can do and what not. I also read on the history of vegetable oil. that grossed me out for days. Anyway, making BIG changes. I have lost a bit of weight so far. but it has also been the easiest diet I've ever done because it's motivated by knowledge. the more you know about things and the body and the way food is processed and such it really does change how you look at things. I started only shopping the outside part of the stores. I have only ventured into the aisle for things such as olive oil. It is a good thing. Caeden still eats high quality bread because it's fine if he ets a little plumper. But as an adult who needs to lose weight there really is no proven need for me to at grains. Over consume high quality organic protient, eat balanced fats, the right fats and avoid all processed foods. So lots of fruits and veggies and this amazing greek yogurt. Steak for dinner and yummy chicken spinache salads! I'm loving it and feeling SO good! also, noticed my hair is a lot nicer with all the protient and good fats it's happy hair!

I need to start the exercise portion of this program soon. hopeing the sickness is pretty much gone tomorrow so I can start into it this coming week. My goal is to fit into my emerald green dress for valentine's day. shouldn't be a problem. but it hasn't fit since right after we got married. I plan to be even smaller than that but that's the first real goal. Put all my 'skinny' clothes on the shelves so I see them all the time to remind myself what I have to look forward to. :)

and that is about all the updates I can handle. I leave you with some pictures!

Chris is on his way back from the airport with his Mom. She hasn't met Elyse yet and she hasn't been here to visit since February. it was a tense visit. we've been okay in recent months, she sent me flowers in July to say "can we be friends please?" It was a nice gesture. I accepted but I am not expecting things to magically work out for the rest of our lives. we'll see how this weekend goes. Hopefully it is fine. :)

Caeden is allergic to peanuts. Hooray! Becoming a strictly peanut free home is a little hard. everything is made near peanuts and he's still getting a little because the rash comes and goes around his mouth. Nothing like the huge rash all over his body though but he hasn't had any straight peanuts since the first time.

Elyse's head is fine! They did an x ray and didn't see any noticable abnormalities. So she has a follow up in 6 weeks to make sure everything is still fine and we'll proceed from there. If it changes or she has any other signs of complications they'll have to do a ct scan to make sure the issue isn't something other than just the skull, or to be sure it's not creating any problems. But the soft spots aren't closed or anything. It's just an interesting shape. For now, I am relieved and I just welcome her to the lumpy head club! I have a very very lumpy head! :)

I should probably fold the laundry and such. I'm tired. I usually go to bed by now but I know Suzy will want to see little miss. But the morning will come quickly!

Caeden's rash is worse. He had a grilled cheese sandwich this afternoon and then after his nap he had more spots. Read the label on the bread and it had the whole "this product is made in the same factory and shared equipment with nut products." :/ Called is doctor and he said to give him some benedryl and keep a close eye. Chris and I are going to be super, super careful about what we give him until we get into the doctor and figure out exactly what it is. I just can't think of any other logical explanation. But, I really, really hope there is one! But it looks like the allergic reaction rashes I get. (I have some food allergies and sensitive skin.) and the fact that it has gotten slightly better then worse randomly makes us suspect foods. So that stinks. The poor boy is itchy too. so, I gave him an oatmeal bath and he seems to be sleeping well tonight so far.

Elyse is still doing good with the pet dander sensitivity. Chris asked the kids to please stop being allergic to things. I echo his request!

So we thought Caeden randomly called my mom and Chris "Mommy" but he said it sort of like "omm-ee" which was odd because he's never had a hard time with his M's and he's called me Mama, Mom-Mom and Mommy since he was 9 months old. so, The whole thing was weird. But my brother was in town and we went to the zoo and he called Paul "omm ee" and then Brittany! and then my brother David! Finally I realized what it was. He only says it when he's asking to be picked up. He is trying to say "Hold Me". You can tell that's what he's saying if you really listen, but it sounds more like "ol' me" and he says it kind of fast so it runs together and you can't hear the D at all. If he wants Ellie to sit on his lap he asks to "old 'er" so he has figured out what "hold" means. He used to just say "up", but I'll admit "ol' me" is a lot cuter. ;)

Here are some recent pictures of my punky kids!





Ellie 2 months old

Caed 19 months old


Me! 25 years old in four minutes!

I don't have any recent pictures of Chris. we both look the same, my kids keep getting cuter!

I suppose it's not really all too crazy that I haven't written anything since the end of August! I really want to start a real family blog that I would be willing to let anyone (family and all friends) read. I just need a place to write out stories about the kids. Ideas, convictions, battles, pictures, etc. But I haven't had the time or energy to set up a nice one. But I wanted to update here or my own sanity and memory.

The days seem to blur together at this point, even though I am sleeping well. I usually have no idea what day it is. My kids are amazing! Caeden is so big and adorable! His hair has gone crazy! we are letting it grow until it looks funky or hits it's perfect length. it's pretty shaggy right now but it's got these loose curls and waves. I can't go anywhere without a stranger commenting on his hair and dimples. He is super smart and talks a whole ton. He says so many things and has his own ideas. He's a total ham too. He's always goofing off and trying to make us laugh. The other day he randomly yelled "whudda whudda whudda!" and we all laughed so now he keeps doing it with this really cute smirk just waiting for us all to laugh. He calls Elyse "baby" still but he's started to call her "baby owie" (Baby Ellie.) Too sweet. He loves her so much. Elyse is really fantastic too! She is almost 2 months old already, which is insane! She's chunkier than Caeden was, but mostly in the cheeks. She has these sweet, kissable chipmunk cheeks. I adore her! she is such a sweet baby, she's a good sleeper too! Only wakes up one at night and goes right back to sleep without a fuss. she is my sweet little princess. I love her in her new fall clothes. Both kids look straight up out of a magazine. they're so cute. :-P Yes, I am bias.

The only real "hiccups" in our world are allergy related. Elyse is sensitive to Job's pet dander/hair! she had the worst rash and was all wheezy and in bad shape for weeks. we invested in the best (and super expensive. :/)vacuum/home cleaner you can get. We tried to get rid of job but it was heart breaking and upon further research found it was unlikely she'd actually be totally allergic and also getting pet dander and hair out of your home can take over a year and by then she might out grow it. so, we decided to do what we could to keep their spaces more separated and keep the house mega clean. it has worked! she cleared up within a few days of doing all we could! she got near a Job-area and rashed up again but it went away when we got her separated again. so, so far so good with that! Hopefully she'll grow out of it soon! I am glad we can keep our super sweet guard dog! Caeden's issue started to intensify today. He started having a red bumpy rash around his mouth and a continual diaper rash. which I know if often the first signs of food allergies. we i tried to think of what he had eaten. he some tried peanut butter from my toast and so I thought maybe it was that so I didn't give him any more. But then it continued mildly and then it came back so I thought maybe it was this new granola i got for him. so i stopped that, seemed a bit better and then today we were at the zoo with some of my family and my brother was holding him and I noticed some spots on his hip. I lifted his shirt and his entire back has little red dots all over. His mouth had the rash again and when we got home we saw it was on his thighs, chest, shoulders, belly, neck. everywhere but hands and feet. it looks like an allergy rash. :( then I remembered he had peanut butter at my mom's house yesterday! I put a call into my doctor but they were out. I'll call tomorrow if they don't call back first but, I am worried he may have a nut allergy which would totally such. It's bad one to have and it's especially tough going through childhood with it. I am trying not to get ahead of myself but, i can't think of anything else it might be and the granola had the whole "made in a factory where peanut products are also made" stamp. so, it could be why that continued the mild irritation.

Other than those things, all is well. Chris and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary on October 1st! Pretty awesome. My parents insisted we go out. Elyse cried half of the time before passing out on her Oma. No plans to head out again any time soon, it was a bit difficult for me. But we needed the date it had been way too long!

My 25th birthday is on Sunday. 10-10-10! Heck yes! No special plans, probably will just be any other day. But I have my husband and kids so I am set. :)

i am frustrated by my current physical state (size wise.) I have been for some time and I know why i have weight issues. I am finally working on it for real. I spent all the months between my c section with Caeden and finding out I was pregnant with Ellie being scared to work out my abdominal muscles. I guess I was just sure I'd hurt myself. But after hearing how well I headed from Caeden and I was way less worried this time. I feel good and I think so much of it is mental. so I am doing it. I told myself if i lose the weight i need to i can go on a shopping spree come tax refund time. that would be fun and something i have literally -never- done. I have worked out a few times and the days I've missed were because I literally did not have the time like today, we went to the zoo first thing, had a picnic at the park then when we got home for a late nap i needed a shower bad then we went to my parents for family dinner and then when we got home it was time for jammies and goodnight kisses! but at least it was an active day and not because I chose to be lazy.

But now I am super tired and I need to exercise in the morning tomorrow. My brother Paul is in town from Arizona and we're having a thanksgiving-esque turkey dinner and early bday celebration for Paul. (his bday is dec 1 but we like to do the family celebration when he's in town.) so I wont have time to do it at naptime. so it's a 6:30 am wake up call for an hour long video.

It's nap time at my house and I am not napping. Because the last few days I feel way worse after the nap, so I think other than especially brutal nights I am skipping the nap-when-baby-naps rule. I can get Elyse to continue a nap easily enough, the hard part is once Caeden is up, he's up. He isn't interested in slow wake ups with snuggles in mommy's bed right now. Itused to work - at least long enough to fight off my grogginess.

I am finishing up some laundry then I'll probably crochet and try to find some silence from my constantly running brain.

Elyse had her two week check up yesterday and she is 8 lbs 2 ounches. 20 3/4th inches long! So she's up nearly a pound since last week and she grew 2 inches from birth. I was so nervous she wasn't getting enough breastmilk or nursing enough because it's harder to keep track of time than it was with just one when all I thought about was when he needed to eat next, sleep next, etc. Now life is constantly moving so either I randomly realize it's been about 2-3 hours or she lets me know around then. But she seems so tiny still (and she is!) The big reason I was concerned about my milk is because I never got engorged and I haven't leaked basically at all. I think I've leaked slightly on TWO nursing pads in these entire two weeks. I sort of hoped it would be like this but, I didn't expect it to! I only stopped nursing Caeden in April (he was mostly done mid february but nursed for comfort a few times, the last time was mid-late April) and it takes a while for your milk to dry up completely. But also a little before you have your new baby your milk ducts started preparing to feed that baby so I had thought my milk might not entirely dry up and if that happened i might not have any real noticeable engorgement when my milk came in. But I didn't expect my breasts to go right into the supply and demand mode either. But they have, thus why I am not overflowing. she's obviously getting all she needs to because she's gaining exactly how she should. Got back up to her birth weight and then some by two weeks, she has all the tell tale signs of getting plenty. I am thankful! But a little weirded out because I expected it to happen like last time. engorgement for a few days, lots of nursing pads until my breasts figured things out. this has been handy!


Caeden is being a stinker today, not sure why. probably just toddler hood. He acts a lot like a two-year-old people are usually surprised when I tell them he's not quite 1 1/2. He talks like a 2 year old and has a lot of the comprehension of a 2 year old and had just now started to act like them with the way he shows frustration and how he is testing things. it's a little frustrating but, he's such a good kid overall and really does usually listen well even if he doesn't fully understand us sometimes. I just wish he'd wait on the temper and the testing a little longer, just until i get a little more sleep at least. :) Can't believe he is almost 18 months old! He just went through a growth spurt and his head is huge, his feet are huge! He feels bigger, thicker somehow. Not chubbier, he's still about the same ratio there just more like a toddler, less like a baby all the time. which is cool and sad all at the same time! People keep saying "Oh but now you have a new one to baby!" which i true but it's still sad that it will never be Caeden in that way again. Each phase and stage really does go too quickly. It's the frustrating ones that seem to last! :-p so I am constantly reminding myself to enjoy each stage both babies are at. Taking it all in and trying to appreciate it all, because it will pass way faster than I want it to!

My 2 week check up was also yesterday. I am down 16 pounds! Only 5 more to go and I am to my pre-pregnancy weight which is cool. I have plenty to lose beyond that but it's an amazing motivator to not feel set back or anything. The doctor flipped out about my incision. she said it looked absolutely amazing and she can hardly believe it's been just two weeks. I agree. it already looks great! I am a good healer it seems. my last scar was nearly invisible, hoping for the same results over time with this one.

elyse is up! ready for nummies!

Life with two continues to be a blast! It's a lot of work and I am busy pretty much every single moment, but it's fantastic. Elyse is just amazing and beautiful. She's grown so much in the last few days it seems. I forget how quickly they change. she's already filling out more and looking less like a wrinkly newborn and more like a full-faced baby. Caeden is still doing fantastic with her, he's had a few moments of roughness but he is usually really good about being "soft". He still kisses her about a billion times a day, I love that they love each other already. I'm surprisingly not as tired as I was with Caeden. (knock on wood!) I suppose part of it is because it's only been a few short months since Caeden stopped waking up for a feeding entirely. I think it was in May. He didn't wake every single night but about 3-4 nights week. so, I've only had a few months of straight sleep apart from sick nights or teething wake ups. It's harder to get up 3-4 times a night than just one for sure. It also helps that we've been SO good about laying her down in her cradle. I was terrible about doing that with Caeden so none of us ever slept well and i felt like I never got anything done in a day because I was always holding him, he wouldn't let me put him down.

I hold Elyse as much as I possibly can and she does take naps on us often enough. we aim for two naps in the pack n play, but that is partly for Caeden's sake so he does have time with just us/me to play and interact. Plus eventually she'll need to have those established naps when she has an actual schedule. In the evenings we started laying her down around 7:30 in the front room in the pack n play. It's quieter, darker, etc. Then we get her up before we go to bed (or if she wakes up earlier we'll just go to bed after she nurses.) It helps a TON because with Caeden I would just hold him while we watched tv and he would sleep but when we went to our room to go to sleep he would get all wired and weird because of the change from a tv and subtle light to a dark silent room. But for Elyse the transition isn't so rough. It's helped a lot! I feel way more rested at night and I am not always wondering if she'll go back to sleep well when she wakes, sometimes she is up more but we have been able to stay in my bedroom every night all night.


anyway, i am having a snack then headed to the last leg of my evening. it's been a good weekend. I'm feeling great. doctor check up on tuesday - i am starting my eating wellness plan tomorrow. I only gave myself to week 2 this time instead of week 6. I am excited to see what I weigh, i look way better than I did at this stage with Caeden. i don't think I was even this size at my 6 week appointment with Caeden. so, hooray!

Time keeps trucking by! Elyse is a week and a half old and the new normal has mostly settled in. I have a few moments of klutzy juggling but it will happen for a long time to come and most of it will eventually get better with time. Most of our "traffic jams" happen when both babies have the same need at the same time. Example: wake up at the same time needing new diapers, milk, and wanting snuggles with Mommy. I've managed to swing it a few times. Usually Elyse is up before Caeden so I've been able to have her all set before Caeden is looking for some Mommy time to start the day. Apart from that it's pretty good. Busy, but good. Caeden accepts that I nurse Elyse now and that he can't be in the same space at that time. He gets that she is "eating". He's become more gentle as well, he doesn't hug so tight and he doesn't try to ram his finger in her eye when he wants to tell us she has eyes. learning more every day. :) Elyse is doing great! she's mellow like Caeden was and really only fusses persistently if she really needs some down time or it's taken a tad longer to get to her need (like when I am in the middle of taking food off the stove for Caeden and she decides she needs to nurse NOW!) But she is super sweet and darling. she puts up with Caeden well, too!

I just can't wait to be fully recovered and though I adore this newborn stage it's harder to enjoy it with a tollder, so it will be nice in a few weeks when she's slightly more predictable and slightly thicker so I am not as worried about Caeden handling her some. he sorts of acts like she is one of his stuffed animals that makes noise. Hoping when she's got more of a presence he'll get that she is a person. He doesnt really get in other kid's faces/space too badly. so, that will be a bit easier. Now I have to think through everything before I simply go use the bathroom. :)


I am recovring well so far though, very minimal pain. i have been active and done more than I should, but thankfully nothing has bit me in the butt so far. I am nearly out of the woods. at around 2 weeks it's pretty unlikely you'll re-open the wound at all, you can still get hurt and you still are healing and need to be careful but it's a little less scary. I can drive at 2 weeks too! so it'll be nice to not feel like I am at the mercy of someone else if i just want out of the house for a few. sometimes a drive is all you need. Caeden likes car rides too so it's a good thing when I have the option!


days have been way more structured which is great. It's hard for me to find motivation with one, but i have to do it now to be sure Caeden is getting what he needs because all elyse needs is me. so, we've been having meals together per usual and after breakfast we go outside before it's hot. trying to encourage them to nap at the same time by encouraging elyse's alert periods during lunchtime so she's pooped by nap. The only thing i really want down the road is for them to nap at the same time, or at least to overlap by a little bit. caeden's naps are my sanity!


anyway, they are both sleeping like angels now and I am wasting it by being online! I am going to lay down until they wake up then Oma is taking us to the store for a few things.

<3 i love my babies.

I can't believe it's been an entire week since little miss was born! I say it all of the time but time is such an odd thing. One minute you're waiting for what seems like an eternity and then before you know it it's past. It's been an amazing week. Having two young babies definitely comes with new struggles but way more than that so many new joys. Caeden is so amazing to me. He's has handled everything so well. I couldn't have asked for the transition to go better and I could not have asked for a more amazing little boy. He has loved her from the moment he met her at the hospital. It's as if somehow he knew she belongs with us, because he started calling her "baby" right away and smiling at her in a way I've never seen him smile before. He has yet to push her or show any signs of jealousy or dislike toward her. He just wants to hug her and kiss her. He shows her affection the same ways we have, with hugs, kisses, rubbing hair, snuggling, etc. It shows me that first off he accepts our affection as such and understands it's a love language but also that he feels the same toward her that he mimics the things that make him feel good, loved and close to her. It seriously melts my heart. Caeden has the most beautiful heart. I love who he is so hard! I cannot wait to see who Elyse is. I am confident she will be equally as amazing. It's so neat to have kids and to instill things in them but also to see them take those lessons and examples and run with them. Even from the youngest age to see love shared like that. Our biggest struggles have been teaching Caeden he can't push on sister - he, like many kids around babies tends to want to get close to her face and his instinct is to place his hand on her tummy to prop himself. which creates an obvious problem. He also hugs her hard - it's hard to teach him to loosen up because he thinks you're taking her away and he cries his "hurt feelings" cry. we rarely see it but it's usually only connected to me not being able to hold him for some reason. But it gets better every day, he is usually very gentle with her. He's become more accepting that nursing time isn't shared time. I also make sure if I am snuggling with him when he has a milk bottle that i am not lap-sharing with Elyse either. It gets tricky and I can't always hold him for snuggles but that's why we tried to get him used to those downtimes on his "plillow" and with his blanket. But so far most mornings I've been able to snuggle with him while Elyse is napping nearby and in the evenings Chris can usually take Elyse. Caeden's before bed baba is the one he most wants to be on my lap for and it's also flexible so I can usually be sure I've nursed Elyse so she's set so Caeden gets his snuggle time. It's all about finding the balance and juggling and meeting the needs that matter most.

I am thankful now more than ever that Caeden has always been good at independent play. I am a big believer in the fact that kids need BOTH structured play time that is interacting with others (us, other kids, etc) and also independent play time where he uses his own imagination and he explores things on his own without constant conversation, affirmation or instruction. so he is happy to take those times when I have to tend to Elyse more. It's made things much easier than they would be had I literally played with him all day every day for 17 months, then suddenly couldn't.


I feel like I am finally getting over my emotional issues. I felt like I was suffocating for a few days. I felt exteremily guilty that Caeden now has to share me. It made me cry a few times before she was born, and the sadness lingered until really about yesterday. I kept telling myself to focus on how it happened, not what my fears were. Caeden did so well and I was still caught up being worried about how he'd do. Now it's been a week and I am pretty sure he isn't able to remember too specifically that he didn't have to "share" time before. At least not to the level I would. He hasn't shown any negative signs and i think for sure within the next few weeks it will all be so normal it wont even be a thing. kind of like when you have your first, you feel clutsy and like you'll never remember everything or get anything done. But before you know it you don't really remember life before they arrived and parenting becomes so second nature that it's not a thought. I am happy to finally be getting to that place, i was worried it might take a long time.

I have been way way way better about putting Elyse down for naps and such. I NEVER put Caeden down, didn't really have to except to eat or use the bathroom. But he wasn't a good napper until we got into this house and I had to work with him into it, he never did morning naps even when he needed them still. thankfully his sleeping is great now, but i probably could have made things easier on myself had I relaxed a bit and allowed him to be an individual instead of another body part or something. I have been getting up with Elyse when she gets up around 6, to nurse and then we snuggle nap on the couch together. Caeden is usually still asleep so that's one of our special bonding and physical connection times. i try for two naps on her own - i am trying to nap during the afternoon because Caeden does too. so far s good except when I haven't. but both babies nap about the same time. Then i am trying hard to keep her aleeping in her cradle. I was so tired with Caeden that I never got him back into the cradle after his first night time feeding. I just held him all night so, it was a hard long road to break that habit. Happy to say I've yet to bring Elyse in our bed after a feeding. I don't feel it benefited Caeden truly. but I do feel it hindered all of our sleep a bit. It's fine if it works for others but it was actually really hard on all of us, especially Chris. so, this has been good. i snuggle her longer after night time feedings though before laying her back in her cradle. The doctor commented today that she seems to be a very happy baby. she so is! super easy going like Caeden was. we're blessed with awesome babes!


well, Tiffy's last full day is tomorrow. totally sucks. I wish we had more time to do things but next time we get her our here i wont be recovering and Elyse will be easier to tote. we did stuff before she was born but that was only 4 days. she has been the biggest help to me. I would not have survived the hospital nights without her and having her company for my sanity during the days has been fantastic. i feel like i can do this just fine and i am looking forward to life settling into it's new version of normal soon enough. Hoping for a fun easy going day tomorrow! Prayin the kiddos have a mellow easy day as well. LOTS of picture taking!
she leaves at 5 am wednesday. It's going to be sad when Caeden wakes up and begins to realize she went "bye bye". they were fast friends and he sure adores her to pieces!


anyway, i need a shower! night time is my only chance unless Chris isn't at work but lately it's been easier to do it then anyway. Babies are asleep but Chris is there if anyone stirs.

My beautiful baby girl has arrived! The c section went well, thought I'd write out the day and such here. :)
Chris and I got to the hospital at 6 am and I got really, really nervous. But the fact that I was about to have my baby hadn't set in at all. They set me up on the monitors for a few while they got my IV going and put the massaging cuffs on my legs to prevent blood clots. Went over the spinal block and such. Then after a while they wheeled me into the operating room. It took three tries to get an IV in my veins and then it took three tries to get the spinal block in the right area! My veins and my back would not cooperating. I was proud of myself for not freaking out or crying at all. It was stressful with the spinal block, but finally they could see where the bones were and where the nerves they needed were and all went perfect after that. The c section went pretty fast and it was way less stressful this time because it wasn't with a baby in distress. She was born at 8:04 am, she looked like Caeden to me when I first saw her. She is absolutely beautiful! After she was checked Chris brought her over to me, I was in a blissful state even just staring at her getting cleaned up and checked out. Chris laid her against my shoulder/cheek and we snuggled while they finished me up. Then Chris and Elyse went to the nursing for more checking and such then met me back in the recovery area shortly there after and I got to hold her and nurse her while I stabilized. It was perfection.

My Mom and Tiffy were at my house with Caeden and came to the hospital as soon as Chris let them know I would be out really soon. so, within minutes of getting to my room they came in. Caeden did so incredibly amazing, I really can't believe it! He was a little unsure when he first saw me in the bed, with Elyse but he just looked away for a second then Chris brought him over and he gave me kisses and we showed him Elyse and told him it was a baby, he pointed and right away said with a HUGE smile "BABY!" Then he kissed her and was a huge fan right away. It's like he connected it right away on some level, he never got upset over any of us holding her. when Oma took her Caeden was first sitting by me on the bed happy to see me but then he went over to Oma and got on his tippy toes to check her out more closely. Later in the day when more of my family came by he would tell everyone about her. Pointing at her and saying "baby! baby!" he was so proud! He is really gentle with her, likes rubbing her head and cheeks. absolutely melts my heart.

Caeden had a little bit of an issue when we came home today just because he wanted me to pick him up and he wanted to be on my lap at the same time, but I have to make nursing the no-sharing-the-lap time because I need her to nurse well and such. But, I've made it important to take time with Caeden to snuggle or do what he wants to when Elyse is with someone else or is laying down asleep. so, it's been good. adjustments but it's going so, so well! I really couldn't ask for anything to go better or be any different!

Elyse was 7 pounds 13 ounces, 18 3/4th inches long and absolute perfection. she has some dark hair and she looks more like me than Chris but she's a pretty fair mix of both of us and definitely looks like Caeden's sister in some ways. she nurses like a pro! at first I thought we'd have some issues, she didn't want to open up at all but when she was hungry she all of the sudden just latched on as if she knew exactly what to do already. She nurses for a nice long time and even when she doses off she doesn't stop sucking, so I haven't had to rub her to remind her at all. she's done great with that! :)

she slept well the last two nights, two hour stretches, a three hour and one four hour for both nights. so that is perfect for me! Caeden was every 2 hours on the nose. That was a little tiring in those first days when I tried to catch up to a normal wakefulness. I'm still a bit tired from the last two nights but better than I could be!

I feel great - i was in so much better shape this time and not going through a long induction before helped too. I was up and walking as soon as I was allowed and I've been doing great ever since. I'm sore, of course and that will last for a while but overall I feel better and having gone through recovery I am more confident in what I can and cannot do. I just can't wait until I am all the way recovered, then I'll be just super happy and not concerned with anything. But that day will come soon enough. :) Tiffy is here for one more week, it's crazy it's been a week already. time flies when you're with your best friend! she has been the biggest help ever! she stayed with me at the hospital and I could not have made it through without her. there would have been a lot more tears. I missed Chris and Caeden so badly. It was weird not having Chris there the whole time but it worked out well and I know everyone was where they needed to be. Caeden needed his daddy and his own home and own bed. It's nice that Caeden went right to bed tonight like usual because nothing was too disrupted for these last few days.

Well, I need to shower before Elyse is ready for some more nummies. after that bed time! Hoping that sleeping in my bed is comfortable enough, I'll have to prop up the only have thing for me right now is getting up from laying flat when I don't have anything to grab onto or push off of and my bed isn't set up well for that. but I really don't want to spend another night apart from Chris. I miss him. He has to work the next two days so that sucks, but we need it.

there is my first update! my girl is a beautiful gift from God and I am so happy she is finally here in my arms! a perfect addition to our little family, my heart is so full!

I am really nervous about tomorrow. It hasn't really sunk in entirely. Apart from all the text messages throughout the day I feel more like I am preparing for some trip, not to have a baby! All the last minute clean ups and bag packing. But then the random text messages of encouragement come in and I am reminded of how nervous I am. Not entirely sure what the nerves are for, I think the whole day makes me nervous - missing Caeden, the c section, meeting Elyse, everyone being okay. dealing with recovery and starting nursing again. all the good things, the new things, just everything collectively makes me nervous.

I need to go shower and get as much sleep as I possibly can! 7:30 is going to come fast. especially because I have to leave my house at 5:30! so I'll be awale at like 4:30. sheesh.

Okay! Pray for me! Elyse Layne is coming tomorrrrrooooww!